I Hear You Talking, but You Are Not Saying Anything

Is there a better topic than the useless art of small talk to make my triumphant return to the blogosphere? I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks due to the lack of anything relevant enough to say. Sure, I could have made up some quasi interesting topic, like politics or the weather, to talk about but who cares, right?
Nothing drives me crazier than people who talk just for the sake of talking. Please have something to say. Weather, days of the week and neighborhood, family or celebrity gossip are not things that need to be discussed. If I need to see what the weather is like I will look out the damn window. I hate when people tell me that it’s nice outside or that it’s raining. Really, is that what that water falling from the sky is? I had no idea. Thanks for filling me in.
What’s even better is when I’m wearing a coat and gloves because it’s winter and someone comes along and says, “It’s cold!”
Are you serious? It’s cold? I’m glad I have this coat and these gloves on because I would have been screwed otherwise. I really hate it when people state the obvious. Can you tell?
My mother is the queen of reminding me what day it is. I could set my watch to her “Tomorrow is ____day” each night before she goes to bed. If that isn’t bad enough, each morning she reminds me that, “Today is another day.”
Thanks for the pearls of wisdom, Mom.
My stepfather is another one. Each day when I arrive home from school he tells me, “You made it home.”
Is that where I am? That would explain me having a key to the door and all my stuff being here. I know what you are thinking, that he’s just welcoming me. I would like to think that but the tone in his voice is an informative one. It’s as if he believes that unless he tells me where I am, I’ll never figure it out.
I will admit that I am not the easiest person to talk to. Small talk just irks me to death, I don’t have a ton of friends (shocker, right?), and my parents and I just have different interests and I’m too impatient to slow down and explain things to them. When they try to engage me in subjects I will discuss, my impatience leads to me blowing them off. I guess that makes me the asshole. That is probably why they keep trying small talk. They probably think that if they fire enough topics at me, eventually I will respond. But how do you respond to “Today is another day.”?
That just doesn’t lend itself to in-depth conversation. My default response is, “Yes it is, let’s hope it’s a good one.”
Once again, not exactly riveting, edge of your seat conversation.
I know I’m probably in the minority when it comes to this. Most people a far more social than I. It’s funny, I usually blame my parents’ lack of conversational skills on the fact that they really don’t interact with anyone other than themselves. Perhaps if they got out of the house every now and then they might pick up some better chat habits.
Maybe I should follow my own advice.