Annoying People, Part Deux

I took last week off from the Annoying People post mainly because of forgetfulness.  My one and only loyal reader, Miss Marie ;), suggested bad drivers as my next topic but I'm not quite sure how much bandwidth eblogger.com has; that topic would be endless.

So I was having a hard time coming up with my next annoying person to talk about, since I've been spending my 2 weeks off from school with my ass planted on the couch.  I did make it out of the house on Wednesday to go see Tropic Thunder--f'n hilarious, BTW--and I found this week's annoying person in the theater.

No, it's not the people that text during a movie, although those mother f'ers are annoying.  Do they not realize how distracting the illuminated screen is?  Nor is it the people who wait for the exact moment that the movie starts to open their Twizzlers, Milk Duds and Raisinets, with the plastic wrappers crinkling and crackling loudly throughout the entire theater.  It's not even the people that talk during the movie, although I would like to slap the Jesus out of them.

Nope, this week's annoying person is the jackass who, despite the fact that it's the middle of the afternoon and the theater only has 12 people in it and TONS of empty seats EVERYWHERE, has to come and sit down RIGHT NEXT TO ME.  Ever heard of personal space jackass?  There are entire rows that are empty, is the chair two seats down from me that attractive?  I mean, I am aware that I ooze sexuality and coolness (sarcasm).  Who wouldn't want to sit next to me?  Sometimes I wish I could f@@k myself I'm so hot (more sarcasm), but good GOD, don't sit right next to me in a movie theater that is 95% empty.  Do you realize how creepy that is? Uber!

Of course, had it been a hot young female that sat next to me I wouldn't be bitching.  Problem was, it wasn't a young hottie, it was Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. 

This is one of society's unwritten rules.  Like when men go to a public bathroom and there is a wall of urinals with only one or two guys occupying any of them, you NEVER, EVER, EVER go to an empty urinal that is right next to another guy.  You put at least one empty urinal between yourself and the next guy.  If possible, you put the entire wall of empty urinals between you and the next guy.  We are never taught this in any class, it is just instinctual, appropriate social behavior.  Some people just don't get it.  Those are the people that probably spent their high school years either stuffed in their locker or pulling their underwear out of their ass.

Well, enough ranting for today.

Later-ELI3